Westerner Motel
poems by
Jay Dancing Bear
Contents
Westerner Motel
Cycles
Wasted Time
Hot Shower
Choices
How much time is left?
The Secret of Life
Thin Edge
This is it
by default
Shadow
Sea Lions
One Day
Confusion
Such a Good Guy
Peering
Westerner Motel
these blankets are
thin
but the hearts are
warm
the heater doesn’t
work
the bathroom is clean
fresh towels
plenty of soap and
toilet paper
Mr. and Mrs. John
Doe
have spent an enjoyable
night
good sex
dream filled sleep
the comfort of each
other’s arms
and in the morning
the prospect of a
healthy breakfast
Cycles
Life rises and falls
You lie here in my
arms
we are so warm
so perfectly content
for a while
and then
one of us just has
to shift
just a little bit
and
a few minutes later
another shift
until at some point
we are out in the
world
walking and talking
being born and dying
and being born again
cycles
day /night
movement/stillness
yin/yang
a play
lila
and
at some point
we are back in each
other’s arms
so perfectly
Wasted Time
What is wasted time?
is waiting for a
bus
wasted time?
is taking a shit
wasted time?
is cooking
is eating
wasted time?
where is the line
between
wasted and unwasted
time?
when it’s time for
looking back
will chopping a carrot
turn out to be
the most valuable
moment of our lives
Hot Shower
When you’re taking
a shower
and the hot water
runs out
and you want more
wishing won’t make
it so
Choices
When the load you
are carrying is so heavy
and
you feel you have
two choices
Deny the pain
knowing it will get
you one day
or
allow yourself to
feel the pain
knowing that you
will sink to your knees
unable to go another
step
you need more choices
How much time is left?
How much time do
I have
in the bathtub, food
cooking on the stove
timer set, it’s loud
when it goes off
I’ll run naked through
the house
leaving puddles on
the floor
how much time do I have
how much time
in a succession of
bodies
how much time
out of the body
eternity
The Secret of life
this heavy load we
are carrying
worrying about the
future
we would be so much
lighter without it
let’s put it down
lamenting the past
good times and harsh
just takes away from
here and now
To be here now
with peaceful mind
and no resistance
is such a cliche
and so true
the secret of life
exposed
naked, for all to
see
free
priceless
always available
as near as a breath
and as far as the
moon
God/Goddess All that
is
Grant us grace of
spirit
Amin
Thin Edge
How thin the edge
which
separates the millionaire
from the bum
strip away money,
clothes, car, confidence
put a wine bottle
in his hand
and the millionaire
looks right at home panhandling
give the bum a shave,
expensive shirt, car,
some arrogance, which he may already possess
and the bum is ready
to play the stock market
You and i, a thin
line separates us from affluence or despair
a lucky or unlucky
break and
would we recognize
ourselves
let us hold to our
center
observing the tides
of life
Thanking Spirit for
the warming sun and cooling rain
and allowing our
lives to unfold
This is it
this is it
this moment, this
sensation
this is what you
get
this pain in your hip
this is what you get
By Default
By default
I make decisions
miss the bus, miss
the boat, miss the movie
please don’t rush
me
eternity is just
about enough time for me to get ready
I like the feeling
of spaciousness and ease
not rushing gives
me
I have no desire
to rush to my grave,
for that
I will move extra
slow,
and by default
live quite a long
life
amin
Shadow
I have become my
own shadow
always one step,
one moment,
one bit ahead of
myself
so impatient, so
not present, so unsatisfiable because, really
I’m not even here,
in this moment
oh, well
now I know where
ghosts come from
Sea Lions
Sea lions
barking at night
down by the Monterey coast
One Day
One day
in a stream of days
good things happened
I got stuff done
I smiled
and played music
tomorrow
who knows
life
Confusion
My heart
is closed
my smiling
face and pretty words
do not tell
the truth
that I am not comfortable admitting to myself
which is
that I feel no love for you at this time
I wish that
you weren’t here
I wish that
I didn’t have to take care of you
which I
don’t but I feel like I do
You know
exactly how I feel
you can
feel it despite my smiling words
you are
uncomfortable
but what
can you do?
How I wish
I had the courage to tell the truth
and not
hate myself for it, not judge myself
as I judge
and condemn everything and everyone
especially
me
I would
walk off without a second glance
no wave
goodbye
If I did
that now I would be consumed with guilt
but what
a world of radical honesty
if everyone
told the truth every second
Does this
mean murders would be commonplace
So truth
needs limits
Words, yes,
actions, depending
How to sustain
any sort of relationship
even with
the person behind the counter at the bakery
if at every
moment
we told
each other exactly what we think of each other
My heart
is closed
at this
moment
and I don’t
want to see you
at this
moment
Other moments
My heart
is open and I love you and
I would
do anything for you
How can
this be?
It’s so
confusing!
Such a good guy
I’m such a good guy,
everybody likes me,
they help me, buy me lunch,
do favors for me,
but
what if I weren’t
such a good guy
what if I were an
asshole
and nobody liked
me
what then
what if I found out
that then
I would still be
safe and warm
what if it’s really
a safe choice to be a dick
Peering
Peering through this
narrow window I call my eyes
limited in my understanding
by
who I am
seeing only what
i expect to see
blind to the rest
my mind all the while
busily
making judgements
and my desires grasping
for satisfaction
How can I know life
in all it’s
fullness and glory