personal
growth
a work in progress
jay dancing bear
4/24/09 This is still very much unfinished. Parts are cut and pasted from other things.
There are mistakes, duplications, etc. My method is to write first, edit later.
You
may ask, by what authority do i write this. I am a person who started
out life with a lot of problems, and through honest self examination
and diligence has experienced much improvement, and still has more to
come.
This is not
meant to be an exhaustive manual, but rather a guide to those teachers
and teachings which have served me.With
a few exceptions, i am not giving details of practices, and i am making
many statements which i am not giving the proof for in this little
work. Think of this as a roadmap, or perhaps a guidebook with suggestions on where to go. Take it with a grain of salt. For some reason i feel the urge to write this. This represents the best i know
now. Try these ideas, see if they work
for you.
------------------------------------------------------
Overview
The goal of our lives is to be happy and healthy.
The question is, what are the best ways to do this?
Certainly
we need the material things in life, good food, shelter, etc, and
material pleasures are not to be scorned; they are a gift to us from
the Universe. As we learn and grow, we discover that there are higher
joys and fulfillments to be found, the satisfactions of a job well
done, appreciation of art, and other non-material pleasures. At
some point we find fulfillment in our interactions with others,
our
emotional relationships. Later still, we realize that we truly are all
connected, that for us to be happy and healthy, we need to live in a
happy and healthy world, and so we find ourselves finding deep
satisfaction in service, perhaps even service to people we may not even
meet
personally.
Yet, beyond all this, there is a peace and joy which the
mystics speak of, a quote I read in The Perennial Philosophy, by Aldous
Huxley, "joy is the surest sign of the presence of god", and this is
referring to mystics of all faiths, not necessarily christians. I write
as one who has had a few small tasters of this experience, just enough
to know that it is the real thing, worth paying any price for. I only
wish i knew how to make it a permanent experience. Short of that, i
pursue the goal of being the best human being i can be.
Actually,
I believe that it is everyone's purpose in life to be the best human
being they can be. It amazes me that people spent worlds of time
pursuing material goals, yet do not even take the time to give their
bodies the rest and movement they need to be physically healthy, yet
alone do the work of becoming mentally and emotionally healthy. People
seem to invest in everything but themselves. I realize the fear that
drives so much of this, and i realize that often the drive for material
success is based on self worth issues, and i think that it is so
important to invest the time necessary to do the things which truly
create health and happiness.
The whole message i wish to convey is very simple
It is everyone's assignment in life to be the best human being we can be.
Make that top priority in your life, put in the time and diligent effort, and you will prosper.
My
firm conviction is that our unconscious runs our lives. Everybody says
they want to be healthy and happy, but from what i can tell, their
conscious minds may be saying yes, but their unconscious is saying NO!
Step 1, from which all else naturally follows, like water flowing downhill
1)
Get in touch with your unconscious. discover the reasons which cause it
to block your health and happiness, for example, by keeping you self
destructive in your eating, and get it to the place of being willing to
allow yourself to be fully happy and healthy.
This
is not done by willpower, but by listening and finding better
alternatives for your subsconscious to achieve it's goals. Also,
noticed i use the word allowing. We
all so clearly have the urge to be happy and healthy, and i don't think
we have to force ourselves to do the things which are good for us, i
think that we would naturally do them, if our subconscious motivations
were truly to be happy and healthy.
The
best explanation i have found for why we don't do this, is that in our
earlier years we get an attitude towards ourselves, an attitude which
says "i deserve to be happy", or an attitude which says " I deserve to
suffer", and then we do everything in our power to make this come true.
For a start, explore these books
NLP, The New Technology of Achievement
You Can Heal Your Life -Louise Hay
Bodymind Ken Dychtwald
Once
your conscous and unconscious are truly in alignment with the goal of
creating health and happiness for yourself, then there are a
million practices andd techniques, and you will naturally be drawn to
the ones which are best for you in any given moment.
People
have physical body, mind, emotions (which are the link between body and
mind), and energy body. For everyone i would recommend daily practice
of meditation and Qigong, which nourishes the energetic pathways of
your body. Just as your car needs gas, and your cellphone needs
charging, so too does your energy. Then, at the most basic, your
physical body basically needs proper nutrition, movement/exercise, and
rest
------------------
"Everything you want to be, you will be in the
end",
the Moody Blues, from the song
nights in white satin
"Do the work, get the paycheck"- Jay Dancing Bear
Practices
are what transform us.
We
spend hours reading the paper or watching TV and think nothing of it. Is it such a big deal to meditate or do yoga for an hour?
The phrases personal growth, higher consciousness, enlightenment, get
used a lot. What do they mean?
To me, personal growth and transformation means, are we better
off than we were, even though we're not perfect yet, and probably never
will be. In my own case, i used to
have a mind filled with angry thoughts all the time. I have a lot less these days. In that way, i feel i have
higher consciousness than i did, more peace, better health.
Perhaps there is some absolute state called enlightenment, I don't know. What I do know, is that
What we can all
experience is to feel better.
Information is like hearing about food. Yes, it's important to know
what to eat, and Practices are the eating. Whether it's a yoga workout,
a sufi wazifa, tibetan tong-len, or Christian Stations of the Cross. Do
the work, get the paycheck. There are no shortcuts.
The secret of practicing is to focus on what you do, not what you don't
do. For years i set myself goals, i will do yoga one hour a day, i will
eat this, i will not eat that, and of course so often i didn't do it. I
always felt like i was behind, trying to catch up, to make up for the
workout i missed yesterday, or the ice cream i ate. It didn't work. The
day i started making progress in my life was the day i started counting
every bite of good food as a victory, every minute of yoga as a
victory, feeling good about what i had done, not worrying about what i
hadn't.
Just do something each day. If you don't do exactly the workout you planned, OK, just do something. It all adds up.
Intention, motivation are key. The more your motivations are unselfish,
the more power there is in your practice,
and the truth is, we all
start from selfishness. We all start from where we are, right now, in this moment.
Start Now!
____________________________________________
Selfishness causes dis-ease
Wealth and poverty
wealth of time
wealth of love
wealth of peace and joy
sensual wealth of being in your body
wealth of family, friends, community
wealth of meaning and purpose
wealth of experience
Healthy Values and Intentions lead to
Healthy Thoughts which lead to
Healthy Emotions which lead to
Healthy Body
and underlying all those is connecting deeply with spirit through
meditation, prayer, and other practices
Peace, happiness, prosperity, ultimately everything is a state of
consciousness. Everything you think you want is just a way to get that
feeling, isn't it.
True health and happiness=clear mind, open heart.
All else follows.
We
all want to be happy and healthy. The question is, what is the best way
to do this. The single greatest key is what we choose to think about.
Loving, wise intentions, thoughts and emotions, words and deeds create
health, are health,
unloving, unwise intentions, thoughts, emotions, words and deeds create
dis-ease, are dis-ease.
a quote from the Dhammapada, a buddhist wisdom book. translation Thomas Byrom, Shambala books, 1993
We are what we think
All that we are arises with our thoughts
With our thoughts we make the world
Speak or act with an impure mind
And trouble will follow you
As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart
We are what we think
All that we are arises with our thoughts
With our thoughts we make the world
Speak or act with a pure mind
and happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakeable
"Look how he abused me and beat me,
How he threw me down and robbed me."
Live with such thoughts and you live in hate
"Look how he abused me and beat me,
How he threw me down and robbed me."
Abandon such thoughts and live in love
In this world we encounter and are aware of much bad behaviour. It is
important to do our best to not condone or allow this, but the spirit,
the state of mind, we have towards these "wrongs", is crucial to our
own health and happiness.
i feel compelled to add one thought here. I said that the greatest key is what we choose to think about.
The mystics tell us that the key is connection with Spirit, what some call God.
I believe that this is true, but for most of us, on the level of
consciousness we live on, the more immediate answer is watching the
content of our mind and choosing good thoughts. On the simplest level,
if we find ourselves thinking "he abused me," etc., we can recite some
affirmation, mantra, prayer, or even baseball statistics, anything to
keep from going into anger and bitterness.
Wisdom is realizing
Them is us
Can i explain that? No. You either feel it to be true, or not.
Let's leave it at that.
-------------------------
Be
as conscious as you can be in every thought, word and deed of your life
that's
a pretty tall order, but that's what being alive is about, being fully
conscious.
"you shall know the
truth, and the truth shall make you free"
.What
we all really need and seek is love
Once
you get past our physical needs, which are what most people focus on, I
think our deepest need is love. Love is connection. This implies
connection with others, connection with spirit, and
connection with ourselves. Connections and intimacy of all
sorts, including touch, conversation,
sex, understanding, fulfillment, self expression, being of
service to others, and you can probably add to this list
Time is the coin of the realm
Whatever you do in your life, you need the time to do it. Time
is
subjective. If you are low energy, an hour can feel like five minutes.
If your chi is high, five minutes can feel like an hour. No matter
what, you must make the time available to yourself to charge your own
batteries, which means doing practices such as meditation and yoga.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint
Sustainable
is an important word these days. Living a sustainable life is not just
about how you spend your money, it's about how you live your life. Are
you living a life which creates joy and health, for yourself and
others, or are you run down, tired, unhappy? Could you live the life that you are living:
eating the food you eat,
doing the job you do, for the amount of hours you are working,
functioning emotionally in the way you are functioning,
and all the rest
for the next 40 years, and be happy and healthy?
Be totally honest with yourself
about who and how you are and have
acted.
As far as i can tell, so many Americans come out of
their childhoods deeply wounded, and then ignore or deny their pain,
and sooner or later it catches up with them. Now i'm not suggesting
wallowing in your pain, because that's almost worse, but there is a
balance to be struck, and it starts with facing as it is, now, here, in
this moment.
Be willing to face every shadow in your psyche, and remember the
deepest truth, that ultimately we are spirit. Don't get stuck
in problem solving, and don't use that as an excuse for not facing your
flaws.
Love, accept and forgive yourself exactly as you are right now, in this
moment, with all your faults and sins, with whatever mistakes, small or
terrible, you may have made.
Extend that love, acceptance and forgiveness to all beings,
particularly to those against whom you have any sort of anger or
grudge. To the extent to which you forgive them, you are forgiven.
Remember that the bottom line truth of many, perhaps most, spiritual
teachings is that there is nothing but god, or spirit, or whatever word
you want to use, which means that we are part of It. Underneath our
human imperfection is divine perfection, and the best problem solving
you can do is to realize that truth, and i am not speaking about
intellectual realization, but spiritual realization that you feel.
The deepest, most important changes in a person's life
are the changes
in consciousness.
The more we bring our human consciousness into
alignment with divine consciousness, the healthier our thoughts, words
and deeds, the less mistakes we make, and the easier and happier our
lives get.
Pain and suffering
Pain is a physical sensation. Suffering is wanting things to be different than they are. Resistance is suffering.
This is subtle. Certainly if your child is sick, or if people are being
tortured, it is important to do everything you can to help. However, if
in your mind, the voice is saying "this sucks, this really sucks, they
are horrible people", and as a consequence, you are getting stressed,
your blood pressure is going up, etc., that helps nobody, and hurts
you, and hurts your ability to help and be effective in your attempts
to help.
I realize just how easy this is to write, and how hard it can be to
practice. All we can do is the best we are capable of, in any given
moment, but remember, the mind thinks only one thought at a time. If
you consciously recite an affirmation or mantra or prayer or anything,
that is what you will be thinking, rather than "he beat me, he robbed
me, he abused me".
_______________________________
Why do we so often not do what
is good for us,
and do what is not good for us?
.
Smokers know they shouldn't smoke, junkies
know it's killing them, women consistently attracted to bastards know
they are suffering, yet they all continue.
We all know we should eat right, exercise, rest more, yet so often we don't.
Why is this?
I found an excellent
answer in the Louise Hay book, You Can Heal Your Life,
probably the best self help book i've ever read. Her answer, as i
understand it, is that it all stems from our internal attitudes
toward ourselves. Do we really love ourselves, not in a
narcissistic, superficial way, but in a deep way. Do we believe that we
deserve good, or do we somehow believe that we are bad, and deserve
punishment, and so our lives vary from attracting and creating pain and
suffering into our lives, to the less extreme not allowing ourselves
all the joy and abundance we could have, to really letting ourselves
feel good.
I'll give you an example from my own life. I know that doing my
daily yoga practice is the best thing in the world for me, yet i
sometimes go weeks without it. Now Louise has an exercise, in which you
look into a mirror and say to yourself, i love myself, over and over
again. Sounds hokey, doesn't it. Well, when i do this, suddenly i find
myself doing my yoga, eating better, feeling better. It works. For whatever reason, i was not allowing myself to feel good.
I'll go a little farther. I personally believe that we are all
telepathic, that on some level we call people into our lives, that
somehow we know the opportunities out there for jobs, etc., and allow
or don't allow ourselves to manifest them. On a more basic level, our
attitudes, whether we wake up feeling positive, or negative, because
everything comes down to a feeling, doesn't it.
The common world view is that we are victims, the events of our
lives often just happen to us. I'm not going to go so far as to say
everything that happens is under our metaphysical control, but i will
say that my belief is that we live in a loving universe that wants
us to be happy, and if we love ourselves, we maximize the joy available
to us, and i really do believe that so often, we create our own
suffering. This is a deep subject, why is there suffering in the
world.
Chi, prana, energy
The Chinese word is Chi, the Hindu word is prana, what it means is your
vital energy, your life force. Think of it in the same way you think of
the energy in a battery, a rechargeable battery. Step one is to learn
how to recharge your battery. Step two is to learn how to run on
electricity, so to speak, how to tap into universal energy as you go
about your activies.
The word energy gets used very loosely. I am talking about a specific,
quantifiable force which, if we had the proper equipment, we could
measure and say, for example, you have 85 units of life energy. Perhaps
we could measure before and after a set of angry thoughts, saying, you
had 85 units before getting angry, now only 70 afterwards.
My
experience of my life is that if i have done practices to build my chi,
my personal energy, then all of a sudden everything seems to go right.
Appointments are on time, sessions are good, i perform well whatever i
am doing. Conversely, when my energy is depleted, things seem to tend
to go wrong. Start noticing in your own life if this is how it is for
you, and if so, you now have a tool to make a bad day turn good, which
is to take some time to do some practices.
Take responsibility for your emotions
it is just as much of a mistake to take offense, as to give offense
Many people go through life blaming others for their feelings. They have very little or no control over their reactions, and they suffer for it.
Nobody "made" you feel angry, sad, whatever. They acted a certain way, you reacted a certain way. It is your responsibility to learn techniques of the mind to keep balance. The buddhists stress this. It can be learned.
Let's distinguish between pain and suffering. Pain is when someone
slaps you. Suffering is how your emotions feel in reaction to that.
Speaking from personal experience,
life becomes a lot more pleasant when we practice this. We humans make
a lot of mistakes, many of them with our words, many of those words
spoken thoughtlessly, in haste, fear, anger. Let's all cut each other
some slack for our mistakes.
What do you value?
The song said everything you want to be. Well, what do you want to be,
what is your ideal, as Edgar Cayce put it. Forget the lip service, be
honest with yourself. Put your time and energy at the service of what
you value and you'll get it,. See deeply, with insight, as the Tibetans
put it, what is truly valuable, and then be honest with yourself, and
if you really want to be rich and famous, go for it, because you can't
lie to yourself. Sooner or later life will educate you as to what is
truly valuable.
there is no security in this world
No matter how much money you
have, no matter how good your health, how wonderful your family, how
great your job, you could lose it all. A car crash, stock market crash,
hurricane, etc., your life changes. The only real security is your
relationship to God/spirit/the universe/whatever you call it, your only
dependable resources are the treasures of character/spirit/soul, which
you have built up through practices. Knowing this, we appreciate what
we have more, because in truth, we can not take anything for granted.
The Body Doesn't Lie
You can tell yourself anything, but your body will tell you the truth,
and if the way you are living isn't serving you in the deepest
sense, your body will call your attention to it, probably you'll have
health problems.
If you don't feel physically good, if you are not experiencing the joy of being in your body, if your mind is not at peace, if you
do not have good relations with people, if you are always rushing
around, never have enough time, you are poor, no matter what your net
worth. It's time to do some work on yourself.
Nature is the healer
One of my definitions of poverty is being indoors in nice weather.
Being in nature is healing to body, mind, and connects us with soul.
Nature is the temple. It's a pity that some people have become so cut
off from the sky, the breezes, the trees, the air.
If you are some poor soul who has become so used to heated rooms and
conditioned air, you may have to make a gradual transition. Bundle up
if you feel cold, take it slow, but get used to being outdoors and the
odds are very high your spirits will improve.
have-do-be or be-do-have
I
took a number of workshops with a woman named Dominique Sire. She used
to say, most people think you HAVE something, for example money, so you
DO something, for example take a vacation, so you ARE something, for
example happy.
She used to say that actually it works the other way.
You ARE something, for example peaceful and happy, so you DO something,
for example create a work of art, so you HAVE something, for example,
money when you sell i
In Zen they say, no attainment, and nothing to attain.
happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.
be here now, it's all you really have
Peace=acceptance
(not to be confused with inaction or condoning bad behaviour)
So far much of what I have written
seems to be directly opposed to these ideas. It is not. If you are
feeling the need to make changes in your life, acceptance is accepting
that feeling and doing the work. The masters tell us that at some point
one gets the understanding that it's all perfect just as it is. I
believe that, but not being there yet, the path of spiritual evolution
involves doing the work. The Buddha's last words were "work out your
salvation with diligence", even though eventually we may see that it
was all a game.
______________________________________
The 168 exercise:
there are 168 hours in a week. How do you spend them? And how would you like to spend them?
Get 168 coins, chips, etc.
First, the ideal
How many hours a week would be healthy for you to sleep. Put those off to the side.
How many hours personal grooming, showers, etc. Subtract.
How many hours would be good for you to exercise, meditate, study spiritual texts.
How many hours for quality food preparation and eating.
How much time with family and friends. Time is the most important family value.
How much time to be a good citizen, educating yourself about issues.
Ideally, how many hours of meaningful work, including commute.
What else.
Now the way it is.
First, how many hours work and commute.
Now go down the list.
I realize all the difficulties of how jobs usually work, paying for
health care, etc., etc., and it is important to tell the truth. Allow
yourself to see how it really is, how so many important parts of your
life get shorted,then do your best to realize the ideal.
What you will probably find is that in an ideal situation work would occupy 15-25 hours a week, including commute.
This means you probably need to
want less, so you need less money, which includes be very efficient with every dollar you spend, and
earn more per hour, a minimum of $25/hr.
This probably means that you must work for yourself, because most employers don't pay that.
as for children,
in truth, the economics of this society are not set up for having
children, at least not having time to spend with them, and if you have
no time for your child, isn't it cruel to bring him or her into the
world
______________________________
The Forgiveness Mantra
I,___, forgive
____ for any harm they
may have done me, knowingly or unknowlingly, intentionally or
unintentionally, by omission or comission, in thought, word, or deed,
and I,___, ask forgiveness for any harm i may have done ___, knowingly
or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, in thought, word, or
deed.
My
ideals
which is to say, the ideas which I have found will benefit me
the most, are
- Open the heart
- Live mindfully
1) Open the heart-how can one describe
intangibles such as open heart or closed heart? In my experience I can
feel them almost as physical sensations, warmth or coldness in my body
and emotions. A lot of practices involve becoming sensitive to what is
going on inside ones self, body, feelings, mind. One can feel the state
of the heart and it’s effects in our life.
To get philosophical for a moment, until we
feel our connection with other beings, we are alone on a desert island,
unable to manifest those parts of ourselves which can only exist in
relation to others. How to keep connection with others, without feeling
overwhelmed by all the pain and suffering in the world? What is
one’s role and responsibility regarding others? These are
keys which require developing spiritual understanding.
As of this writing this is the key issue I am working on. How to see
all the mistakes made by people, mistakes which hurt themselves and
others, mistakes which seem to be made over and over again without
learning seeming to take place, especially my own stupidity and
mistakes which I have made a thousand times, how to see all that and
not get fearful, angry, judgmental, resentful, patronizing, or close
the heart, that is the $64,000 question.
Put another way, if there is a God, or some
sort of guiding, benevolent spirit in the world, how can all this
suffering be? The little glimpses of answer I have found have come in
meditation or in Spiritual texts, which say that our true nature is
spirit and this world is like a movie we go to, but we always go home
at the end. According to these texts we are all manifestations of
Spirit, as all the cells in our bodies are parts of us, as all the
drops of water in the ocean are all part of the ocean. Literally, to
hurt another is to hurt oneself.
2) Live mindfully
How much of the time are we really awake,
really feeling what is going on in our bodies, feelings and minds?
How much of the time are we on automatic, going through the motions
without really being there?
How much do we really feel the sensations in our body?
How much are we aware of what our motivations are, what’s
really going on inside our psyches?
The western technological world is filled with distractions which keep
us from awareness. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese buddhist teacher, says
to live without being mindful is to be almost like a dead person. I
think he’s right. Have you ever eaten without tasting the
food because your mind is busy, or not enjoyed what you’re
doing because you’re thinking of what you’re going
to do next. I have, all too often I still do, and it’s not
fun. I want to enjoy my life.
Quieting the mind of the endless mental
chatter and worrying which I can feel draining me. The times my mind is
peaceful I feel my body more, get more done and am much happier. The
mind is a very useful tool, and has an important place in life, but
just like a chainsaw it’s better to have it quiet and not
using up power when not in use.
My
Basic Practices
The core of my practices are:
- meditation- mindfulness practice, giving
attention to body, breath and mind, quieting mental noise, noticing any
toxic thoughts, such as anger, fear, resentment, which in the past I
have been quite prone to
- movement, such as tai chi and yoga
- healthy eating
- Reading and listening to beneficial
books and tapes
I’m basically selfish and
practical, I do this stuff because it helps me, because I have found
that I feel happier and healthier than when I don’t do it. When I do these practices I feel better
immediately, and as time goes on I can feel the cumulative benefits. I
measure the progress of my life by how much peace, health and happiness
I experience on a moment to moment, day to day basis, not how much
wealth or fame I have
Goals The
goal of my life is to find peace, happiness and health, which includes
living in a peaceful, healthy and happy world. The best way I have
found to do this is by doing practices which benefit me, such as
meditation, yoga and healthy lifestyle, and then acting in the world
from a centered, healthy space.
My current challenge is to more manifest my
inner knowing as worldly action, an area in which I have been deficient.
I've always looked to role models, people to look to for examples of
how to live. For many years it was Ram Dass. Now it is the Dalai Lama.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Self
Educating
When we grew up, most of us were handed a program for our lives,
something like go to school, get out of school and get a job, get
married,
buy a house, have kids, etc. There are other programs too. There's
nothing wrong with that program, the question
is, is it the right program for you? You have to look inside, something
you were probably never taught to do, perhaps even discouraged from
doing, and find your own truth.
finding your calling
finding your calling in life is one of the most important elements of human existence, because it gives you a sense of purpose.
Your calling is what you want to do, what moves you, what inspires you,
what you enjoy and want to spend your time doing, in a deep sense. It
could be art, it could be plumbing, which can really give you the
satisfaction of a job well done. It could be being a parent. There are
no higher or lower callings. If you love seeing a clean floor, it is
just as valid a calling as being an attorney.
Your calling may or may not be the way you earn money, although, given
a creative approach, it's amazing how often a way can be found to have
your calling support you financially.
My belief is that everyone has a calling in life. Some people are lucky
enough to know what it is right away, most people have to look for it.
The way to do this is through practices, such as various forms of
vision quest, prayer, meditation, through purifying your energy.
If you keep seeking, sooner or later it will come.
educating yourself
In school you were
taught what employers needed you to know, so that you could be a good
slave.
Obey authority without questioning. sit inside on a nice day, ignore your body,
esteem yourself based on test scores, work for rewards, and worse.
Bob Dylan said "those who must obey authority, that they do not respect in any degree"
true authority is earned, people grant it because they feel the integrity and rightness of what is being said,
Now it's time to
learn the skills you need to be useful to yourself and others.
The most important life
skills are:
1) how to take care of
yourself, body, mind, emotions, spirit
2) how to communicate
and deal with others
3) how to be a good
citizen of city, state, country, planet
My basic suggestions would
be to: learn to meditate, do chi gung and yoga, learn non-violent
communication, study books by great teachers, cultivate compassion for all beings, eat organic and simple
food, work to heal your own psychological issues, keep a good attitude,
and do service for others through finding your calling.
That's just what i know, what has worked for me. It's up to you to find your own path.
Mind
You Can Heal Your Life,
Louise Hay
Non Violent Communication,
Marshall Rosenberg
The Art of Happiness,
the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler
NLP, the new Technology
of Achievement
At one point in time i wrestled with the question of
whether thoughts create emotions, or emotions created thoughts. By
observation, i was led to the conclusion that thoughts create emotions.
When we tell each other our stories, they are
filled with names, dates and places. All well and good, and there's
more. The real story is what went on in our minds, how we felt. For
example, my own story. When i was younger, my mind was filled with
thoughts of anger and resentment. He did this, she did that, over and
over, and of course my health suffered, especially my health and
digestion.
One day, one particular moment, in my 30s, i had one more
angry thought, and i noticed a twinge in my stomach. I started
observing, and i noticed that whenever i got an angry or resentful
thought i would get a twinge in my stomach, so i started using tools,
such as affirmations, to replace the negative thoughts. From that day
my health started improving. I still sometimes slip into negativity,
but now i know conclusively that i injure myself when i think, say or
do any sort of violence.
The Forgiveness Mantra
I,___, forgive
____ for any harm they
may have done me, knowingly or unknowlingly, intentionally or
unintentionally, by omission or comission, in thought, word, or deed,
and I,___, ask forgiveness for any harm i may have done ___, knowingly
or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, in thought, word, or
deed.
This has helped me to make peace with so many people i was angry at.
When i first learned this, at the California Vipassana
Center, it changed my life.
Everyone knows that if you hit someone, that is violence against them, but
what if saying an angry word against someone is also violence?
What if even thinking an angry thought against them is violence?
and all violence to others is violence to ourselves,
to our own happiness and peace of mind
My belief is
that every living being in the world is telepathically connected, that
this is part of what goes on in the so-called "unused" part of our
brains. What if that's true. What if every word we ever spoke about
people is known to them. How do you feel when somebody says something
bad about you?
What if all the hate speech against george
bush and the government is percieved by them on some level. What if the
loose words i spoke about ___ somehow are felt by them. What if all the
suffering life forms on the planet are part of the reason for the
epidemic of depression and prozac in this country, because we really do feel their pain. What if we really
accept the idea that hurting others is hurting ourselves.
Even if all that is too far out for you, it is true that
physiologically negativity equates to stress and creates toxins in our
bodies.
Louise Hay
I’ve read a lot
of books, listened to a lot of tapes, gone to a lot of workshops,
learned a lot of practices. Information is useful, but only insomuch as
one does the practices and gets transformation. In all of the
"spiritual" (what isn’t?), metaphysical, self help and health
stuff I’ve encountered perhaps the single most useful idea I
have come across is from Louise Hay’s You Can Heal
Your Life, which I most highly recommend to everyone.
Whenever I feel stuck, coming back to the practices and ideas in this
book helps me.
To paraphrase and embellish, Louise believes
that our lives mirror back to us how we really feel about ourselves,
that we attract or create circumstances which reflect our inner self
opinion.
Do we really love, accept and forgive
ourselves, not in a vain, small way, but more in the sense of the
unconditional love of a mother for a child, or the Christian idea of
Jesus loving, accepting and forgiving everyone, or do we feel bad about
ourselves, judge, despise, criticize ourselves, have low or no self
esteem, etc? Do we feel bad about ourselves because of our bad or
stupid actions, or do we commit bad actions because we feel bad about
ourselves? I believe it’s the second, we mess up because of
bad feelings we have about ourselves.
A key distinction is between a
person’s self and their actions. Loving and forgiving oneself
does not mean condoning bad actions. In her book Louise says people
think they need to feel bad about themselves or else they think that
they won’t change, but she thinks that just perpetuates the
cycle. I agree with her. In my experience, when I do the exercises in
her book a few hours later or the next day I find myself naturally
doing a long session of the practices which make fel great, without
making any special effort, and I find myself not doing foolish and self
destructive actions.
1) negative thoughts affect the body in the same way as stress, releasing toxins into the body.
2) forgiveness grants us peace of mind, and improves relations with people
3) feeling good about yourself improves your life in every way
to simplify and paraphrase,
she says that early in life we pick up attitudes towards ourself, for
example believing that we deserve good things in our life, or deserve
punishment, and we then attract people into our life and create the
circumstances to make those beliefs happen. Read this book.
We view the world through the
sunglasses of our beliefs. What are your beliefs about the nature of
God/the universe/whatever you call it.
Do you believe:
a) the universe is a hostile place
b) the universe is neutral
c) the universe loves us and wants us to be happy
Is there a set of rules we have to follow to keep god happy? do we need to earn love?
do we have to struggle to survive?
is there enough for everybody?
Body
Bodies need good food, good movement, good rest
Hanna Somatics
Yoga
Chi Gung/Tai Chi
FOOD
There are many theories of what to eat, and they all agree on certain basic points:
1) Don't eat poison. Pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, etc. The suffix cide means poison.
"Organic" food means it was grown without poison.
Is it really that radical a concept to say, don't eat poison?
2) Eat whole foods. The less processed the better.
3) Cut out the white sugar
4) how you eat is as important as what you eat.
Take the time to relax and enjoy your food.
5) Microwave ovens belong in garbage cans, not kitchens
6) filter your water or buy spring water. Flouride is poison
there is so much more i could say. Google the following topics
Macrobiotics
Raw Foods
Food Combining
Food Complementarity.
For too many people in this society, one wonders why their spirits
bothered taking a body. They don't eat good food, don't move much,
don't enjoy satisfying sex. The main function of their bodies seems to
be to give them pain.
Hedonism and over-indulgence lead to spiritual emptiness; fear and
suppression, lack of pleasure, leads to spiiritual emptiness.
Many
spiritual traditions teach that the body is an obstacle, something to
overcome. I come more from the tantric idea, our bodies are a way to
enlightenment. The channelled entity Emmanuel says, you're in school,
why not take the program.
We have bodies, let's enjoy them.
here is poem i wrote.
Naked Pagan
A
naked pagan
dancing with the sky
I am alien
in your world
Your houses, factories, TV sets
It is difficult
for me to understand
how can you
live this way?
but you do
I
need trees, grass, sky
Rushing rivers
and willing consorts
fresh strawberries
picked from the ground
You
tell me of vaccines, hospitals,
guaranteed food supply
heat in the
winter
Yes,
these are good things
when enjoyed properly
but why give
up
the
joy of feeling
the sun on your heart
the waves
on your flesh
trances
the companionship
of spirit
Why
do you seem to lack
joy,contentment,fulfillment
serenity, and
integrity
You
sell yourself to the highest bidder and
live in fear
of not selling yourself
Why can you
not find a way to have it all
If
this technology is so wonderful
why are so
many unhappy
sick at heart
filled with
all manner of diseased emotions
and
homeless
in the streets
I
don’t understand
The
gifts I offer
you think
worthless
I
offer the sand, the sea
the earth,
the sky
compassion
and deep feelings
What
you want from me is to be a robot
For that I
may earn enough to buy food and pay rent
since you
have set a price on every inch of the earth
by what right
do you control this land
I
don’t understand
but, after
all
I am only
A
naked pagan
On being a Vegetarian
I believe that the evidence of our bodies is that we are built to be
vegetarians.
Fingers-suitable for ripping out a throat, or picking a strawberry?
Teeth-better for ripping out a throat, or eating an apple?
Intestines-carnivores have relatively short intestines for their body
size, herbivores long. our intestines are much closer to herbivore.
When i got the name dancing bear, in 1988, i had been a
vegetarian for 7 years and i had a lot of attitudes about it. being
given a native name got me thinking, because the Native Americans ate
meat and still do. Also, i've know people who were vegetarians for 18
years and started eating small amounts of meat. When i asked them why,
they said they felt their bodies needed it, and i have to respect that.
What i decided was that, to me, how the animal lived is the most
important thing. I'm not happy with the idea of killing, but there's a
big difference between:
a) an animal living a free life, killed with respect and appreciation,
by people who only take what they need, and
b) concentration camps for animals (yes, that's really what they're
called, CAFO concentrated animal feeding operation), where animals are
systematically tortured (that's what it amounts to), cruelly butchered,
chickens can't even peck.
supplying people buying non descript red packages, that has no
resemblance to an animal, so nobody has to feel bad.
see
Diet for a
New America, by john robbins
It just feels wrong.
So i say this. If you want to keep Elsie the cow in your backyard, then
one day cut her throat, and hack her into little bits, go ahead.
If you feel you must eat meat, how much do you need, a big steak, or
more like chicken chow mein, with little bits, and always try to buy
from an animal that was treated decently during it's life and killed as
painlessly as possible.
I believe that people do take on the consciousness of what we eat, and
i believe that the cause of much of the suffering people experience is
the energy of the animals they ate.
I wrote a song called
HITLER
Hitler slaughtered the jews, his actions were monstrous
he put them in ovens and pulled out their teeth
and one thing we do, that hitler never did
raise them to kill them, and eat them for beef
hitler's actions were monstrous, oh yes that's true
and what about all the things that we do
to all the animals, we eat and use
and all of that pain, all comes back to you
all of those souls, all of that suffering
crying for help, where is relief
one thing we do, hitler never did
raise them to kill them and eat them for beef
hitler took six million lives
and how many pigs are waiting to die
to turn into bacon, to sausage, and ham
baked in an oven and fried in a pan
baked in an oven, fried in a pan
baby cows into veal, baby sheep into lamb
cows into beef, pigs into ham
baked in an oven, fried in a pan
copyright 2008 JDB
Personal Growth Guidance
Sessions and Workshops
If you have gotten interested in personal growth, and
would like to speak with a man who has been actively pursuing his own
personal growth for the past 36 years, i offer you my services.
After thinking about it for years, I am now hanging out
my shingle as a personal growth advisor. I want to make clear that I am
not formally trained as a teacher by any particular school, and I make
no claims other than that I am sincere in my desire to share my
knowledge. These ideas may work for you or may not, I make no
guarantees, and I take no responsibility for any effects or
consequences you experience, good or bad. You are responsible for the
use you make of what I offer, just as you would reap the gains or
losses of stock market advice. I am simply giving you my best
understanding as of now, and next week my understanding might grow to a
different realization, as might yours.
I have spent a lot of time and money in pursuit of my own personal growth. I have meditated, done yoga, tai chi, worked with my
diet, have taken workshops, read countless books, listened to tapes,
watched videos, lived at Esalen and Harbin, and spent many, many hours
of my life doing practices. It is the main focus of my life, what i
live for. I love it, and it has improved my life so much. I am far from
perfect and still have challenges in my life, but the skills and tools
i have learned have served me well and, i believe, will serve you to be
healthier and happier. My life has improved tremendously as a result of the techniques and practices which I have learned and practiced.
INDIVIDUAL GUIDANCE SESSIONS
I offer very simple sessions. We talk,
perhaps over tea, perhaps while taking a walk. You tell me a little bit
about what's going on in your life, what you're
looking for, i offer you some suggestions on how to manifest it, how to
be happier and healthier. Then it's up to you to do the practices.
Personal
Growth Workshop
For
Beginners
The goal of this workshop is to give you an experience of being awake, alive, in your body, in community.
This
is a beginner's workshop, we're not going to do
anything radical. It's for people who are becoming interested in
personal growth, and want an easy introduction, from an experienced
walker on the path. Remember, you have the choice to participate
or not in any exercise.
This
workshop is a grab bag of different things i've learned over the years.
It is different every time. if you take it ten times, it will never be
the same twice.
The opening is the same,
I will
say, as a musician i know that the most important thing is to tune up
before we start. Sound tunes our energy, our chakras. Let's stand up,
hold hands in a circle, right hand down, left hand up, because
traditionally we give with our right and recieve with our left, forming
a circle of energy, and let's tone, opening our mouths and throats,
allowing the sound OMmm to vibrate us. We're going to do this for a
while, maybe 5 minutes. It's not about how it sounds, as far as quality
of singing voice, it's about how it feels in your body, letting it
vibrate you.
The next thing we will do is sit down, in a circle, and briefly introduce ourselves, giving our name and why we're here.
After that, we'll see.
If you want, you can get some friends together,
and we'll set up a workshop just for you!
Benefits
* Learn ideas and
practices which will help you to be healthier
and happier
* Get a new
perspective on our needs and priorities
*
Be more
comfortable with ourselves and other people
* Reconnect with
ourselves and natur
* Be in community
with people who share our interest in
personal growth
Methods
toning
movement
breath
music
singing
dancing
mirror
work
council
work
honesty
massage
(clothes on)
journaling
and
more!
Beautiful Path
.
I walk this path
every day
watching my breath
and
hearing my mind race
It’s a beautiful
path
often I don’t see
it
but when I do
it’s a beautiful
path
jay
dancing bear
866-596-2327
go to my writings page, click on the recommended readings
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